The One I'm Waiting For
by R-Gomeni
Summary: JamesLily one-shot, not a songfic. Night time conversations by the fire reveal some interesting truths.


**A/N: I really wasn't going to post this. I really wasn't. In fact, it's already sat on my computer for a year or so. But then I reread it, and thought, 'Even if it's total crap, at least it's a sort of different take on the whole LilyJames thing.' It's not meant to be realistic, it's not meant to be a masterpiece, but hopefully it's something that, when you read it, gives you at least a small smile. That said, please enjoy.**

The One I'm Waiting For

"So, Lilykins… you want to go to Hogsmeade with me? I hear they have this new pub called the Three Broomsticks open." The speaker, one James Potter, known to his sycophants as 'The Heartthrob of Hogwarts', "The Quidditch KING!' (Often pronounced as it's read) to his fans, Prongs to his friends, and 'That annoying Marauder' in slightly less polite terms to the Slytherins.

He leaned back confidently, obviously not expecting a negative answer.

"No, and not even if you had asked politely," the fiery redhead answered lazily. She checked her watch. "A full three hours! I'm almost impressed, Potter, at your self-control."

The black-haired wizard visibly perked up at this. "Really?" he asked hopefully.

"No."

"Oh… what'd I do wrong this time?"

"Well, for starters, it was no different to the last time you asked, it was in front of a crowd, which shows that you obviously weren't taking it seriously, and you asked as if the answer wasn't going to be a surprise. No one likes being predictable."

"But Lilykins… I was _expecting_ you to say no! Does this mean you'll go out with me just to stop being predictable?"

"Sorry Jamesie-wamesie, but I fall under the category of no one. And if you don't stop calling me by that ridiculous nick-name then I'm going to categorise your arse under kicking material."

The peanut gallery, a.k.a. Sirius, Peter, and James' sycophants in Gryffindor, oohed.

"But Lils, my arse is too pretty to be called kicking material!"

The peanut gallery aahed.

"Where did you hear that one? Your arse is in no way, shape or form 'pretty'."

Lily was simultaneously attacked by a multitude of protesting fangirls, with a few male admirers added in.

Later that night, Lily stumbled down the dormitory stairs, unable to sleep. She was more than slightly surprised to see the couch in front of the fire occupied. She turned around quietly to return to her dorm, but was stopped by his surprisingly quiet voice.

"Don't. I promise I won't ask you out."

"What would you have done if it had been Professor McGonagall?"

"Smiled cheekily and added 'unless you want me to'."

"Not bad. How long did you spend coming up with that one."

"Way too long for me to be even slightly sane."

"Shove over a bit, please." James complied, and the two settled into a companionable silence watching the dancing flames.

"Can you answer something- truthfully- for me?"

"Depends. If you ask for my deepest, darkest secret… definitely no. Anything short of, and I'll think about it."

"Why do you keep turning me down?"

"I'm not sure if that falls under deepest darkest secret or not…"

"Please?"

"Do you promise not to repeat a word of this to anyone, on pain of death?"

"Sure."

Lily looked slightly surprised at the new James that was being revealed to her. "I don't completely know why."

"Ah, but you must have some reason."

"To be honest… I'm scared."

"Why? I swear I only bite when you ask me to!"

"What?" Lily blanched. "No, that's not what I'm talking about."

"Well then, what is? What you're talking about, that is."

"I think… you're not ready."

"What?" James looked at her questioningly.

"I think that I could very well fall in love with you… but I don't think you'd feel the same. I'm not ready for that kind of heartbreak, and I don't want to ruin what may very well turn into a great relationship down the track. Well that, and you still need to grow out of the bigheaded stage that most boys find themselves falling into."

James looked more then a little shocked. "You're not pulling my leg? You really think that one day you'll say yes?"

"Yes. But I'm still waiting for you to be the one I'm waiting for."

"Maybe one day soon I will be. How will I know?"

"I'll know. But this doesn't mean you get to keep asking me out, you know."

"That's okay. I'll settle for using you for practise."

"Who're you practising for? You've got a fanclub who'll strip down and do the Macarena if you said the word."

"Exactly. I grew up with a mother who was an equal in the relationship… she was brilliant, and could hold her own in a verbal spar against my Dad, who was a master with words. I don't think I'd be able to settle for anyone dumber then me. Why do you think I'm so interested in you? You're smart enough to not be instantly attracted to me."

"Your parents sound like very interesting people."

"Yeah, they were awesome."

"Were?"

"Yeah, Death Eaters attacked them over Christmas. They were tortured into insanity."

Lily gasped. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"I didn't want the pity. I can live with hatred, and I can live with empathy, but I can't live with sympathy. Cause every time someone talks to you, they can't help but bring it up, and as they do, you see in their eyes 'At least it wasn't me'. It's degrading and humiliating."

"…" Lily sat thoughtfully for a second. "Well, if you ever need a friend, I'm here, yeah?"

"Thanks Lilykins."

The two settled into something of a companionable silence, five years worth of pestilence and humiliation finally resolved.


End file.
